Buy Nothing Day

Via Elizabeth, the Adbusters’ campaign for Buy Nothing Day.

(I personally would tweak the graphic to say—don’t watch the TV spots. Television is a blight, and it’s for losers.)

Join the Facebook group!

11:11

The appearance of 11:11 is also a powerful confirmation
that we are on the right track,
aligned with the beam of our Highest Truth.
Some New Age author
So, today, most everything seems to be awry. (I will not give specifics, because kvetching does not help.)

Recently, though, I learned in a very powerful way that experiences that seem grievous at first can be for blessings, immense blessings.

And a very wise and kind person (an M.D. and professor, for Pete’s sake!) told me that G-d had sent an angel to watch over me.

And, furthermore, it is 11.11, which is supposed to be an auspicious time—a time when angels are near, sending wake-up calls and messages of love and support.

And so, I hereby turn over all the mishigas and seeming trouble and say: Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.

Blessings

There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

That lesson is hard but true and transformative.

More later. Feeling very, very grateful and humbled today—and determined to make big changes.

Victory!

This morning, after weeks of phone calls, website stalking, and an attempted invasion of a flu-shot clinic for hospital staff, I got my carnitas influenza (H1N1, bacon lung, pig AIDS) vaccine from my kind and wonderful internist.

Dear tinfoil-hat crowd: The vaccine is perfectly safe. It’s people who refuse to get the vaccine who are dangerous—even to our four-legged friends.

Pensée du lundi 9 novembre

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops.
A. Bartlett Giamatti,
a R*d S*x fan, but a mensch

The joy is still fresh, and yet: It struck me that someday, in the not-too-distant future, there will be baseball without Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter.

I can’t wrap my mind around that idea. I still grieve for the Scooter, still miss Bernie Williams.

Okay, but that time is not here yet. Now on to twenty-eight!

Felix et errabunda XLVI

776. opening my curtains to golden autumn sunlight and a periwinkle blue sky
777. S, AKS, MHS, DK, TK, and other friends who really care (thank you)
     
778. an afternoon of friendly conversation, knitting, and healing
779. meeting so many fabulous and inspiring women
780. getting over my fiber snobbery…
781. …and digging something really gorgeous
782. that creating heals and energizes me, always
783. a same-day appointment with Dr. M…
784. …a healer of body and soul
785. doctors who return calls within three minutes
786. my amazing pharmacy (repeat)…
787. …where I also picked up Borotalco doccia schiuma bonus size at a great price! (all set for 2010)
788. a cup of freshly brewed coffee, followed by a whole-milk latte from S, after surgery
     
789. all that said, one whole week without a doctor’s appointment, knock wood and thank you very much
     
790. 27
791. once again seeing the Empire State building aglow in Yankees white and blue
792. the unfathomable privilege of witnessing the careers of Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera
793. There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; no disease that enough love will not heal; no gulf that enough love will not bridge; no wall that enough love will not throw down; no sin that enough love will not redeem.
794. happy anticipation of seeing MT and RC
795. cleaning my desk at the office
796. who am I fooling, I am The GMBF (Gay Man’s Best Friend)
797. for real!
798. Mother Emily
799. a Tiergarten remix!
800. overcoming a lace snafu
     
801. that when I let go of shallow “friends,” wonderful new people come into my life
802. that said, rising above spite and wishing my faux amis the best
     
803. that AKS is on Gmail!
804. Father Leonard sung by Sister Antony
805. Father Leonard sung by Father Leonard
     
806. Malabrigo Sock (yes, I am a junkie!)
807. casting on a lengthwise scarf (252 stitches, phew!)
     
808. itching to start taking pictures again
809. a fabulous new idea for business cards
810. scoring the best seat at Roasting Plant Coffee
     
811. that no drinking or drugging pays off big-time (few wrinkles, dewy skin, and sparkling eyes)
812. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity… It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
813. being inoculated against hate and haters
814. taking beautiful care of myself
815. that my holiday cards are already a big hit
816. my first timid steps into guerrilla self-marketing
     
817. compliments on my Capezio Oxford Spectators every single time I wear them (it never ends!)
818. plus they are also the most comfortable shoes in the world
     
819. The Adopt-A-Turkey Project
     
820. what keeps me sane-ish (repeat)
     
821. something that grows more beautiful with every passing year
822. ditto
823. ditto ditto!
     
824. being able to do favors for WW and other Berlin friends
     
825. that Emme supports me in my strength and joy
     
826. new Ravelry pals
     
827. divine mercy, good health, life (repeats)
     
828. that protein never lets me down
     
829. learning that giving myself a break can equal strength
     
830. happy anticipation of meeting AC
     
831. moxie and putting it out there!
     
832. that S was on the tee-vee!
     
833. hobo sushi (repeat)
     
834. angels and those who point them out to me
     
835. believing that 2010 will be a beautiful year
     
836. cleaning up my Twitter account
     
837. so true!
     
838. seeing other bloggers thrive and prosper
     
839. Leipzig? Praha?
     
840. zest for life, in myself and others
     
841. generic scrips and modestly priced remedies
     
842. staying up to hear this played for the last time this season, in triumph!
     
843. living in an amazing city
     
844. asking for and obtaining what I need from VC
     
845. joy
     

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Felix et errabunda XLVc

1. angels watching over me
2. an evening in the company of fabulous and inspiring women
3. a call from S
   
4. hearing from AKS
5. kindness and concern from Italy, Sweden, Germany…
6. my LYS
7. a doctor who heals body and soul
8. an amazing salad (with apricots, butternut squash, quinoa, and more)
   
9. seeing the Empire State Building aglow in Yankee blue and white
10. that it never gets old!
11. to witness the careers of the Captain, Mo, Bernie, and other greats
    
12. things that seem bad at first but prove to be for a blessing
13. Berlin!
14. Wollmeise!
15. Alcaucil!
16. deep, healing sleep
    
17. Icelandic chocolate
    
18. good health, life, divine mercy (repeats)
    

Twenty-seven

Maybe it’s because I was butchered by an anesthesiologist today, but I am having more trouble than usual keeping it classy. So let me say:

Suck on it, haters!

The Yankees are the greatest, period. Thank you, G-d, for the immense privilege of seeing the Captain and Mo play baseball. Thank you for this great joy for my great city. Thank you.

(For the record, I have nothing against the Phillies, who are a tough and sassy team. But the haters can put a sock in it.)

Felix et errabunda XLVb

1. reassuring news
2. the best possible care
3. talking to AKS
4. knowing that S is there for me
5. wonderful camaraderie
6. happy and productive knitting
7. kind, efficient professionals
8. so many people who care
9. MT’s friendship
10. smelling and looking fabulous
11. creative, absorbing activities
12. the Internet Anagram Server
13. calm and strength
14. being a fierce advocate for myself
15. knowing that I made the right decision
16. asking for what I want
17. more kindness and concern where least expected
    
18. good health, divine mercy, life (repeats)
    

Felix et errabunda XLVa

1. amazingly good lentil soup
2. another day of fun work
3. an easy departure and commute
4. clean, folded laundry
5. tidying up
6. Pure Grace
7. speaking my mind
8. deep, restorative sleep
9. trusting
10. getting back to 100% (and beyond) at the gym
11. a visit from a friend
12. so many lovely colleagues
13. a message from MT
14. a great hair day
15. feeling good about myself
16. new exercise togs (thanks, S)
17. productive knitting
18. good health, divine mercy, life (repeats)

Felix et errabunda XLV

707. hearing AKS’s voice!
708. a beautiful card from Den Haag with my favorite flower (thanks, V)
709. Tweets from EJM and RRC
710. a really posh new Twitter follower
711. the chance to follow COLOURlovers and IntegralYogaNY
712. good health, life, and divine mercy (repeats)
713. an extra hour of sleep
714. true friends who are there for me
715. the pinnacle of civilization
716. a dream of going to the Super Bowl in a space-age vehicle with Alex Rodriguez (WTF? but it was fun!)
717. the chubby and temperamental cat who was also in the dream
718. a different dream—of New York, gritty and shimmering in the rain
719. yet another dream, that told a hard and necessary truth
720. my apparent abundance of serotonin (promotes dreams)
721. a blissfully peaceful and productive day at the office
722. a just-what-I-needed yoga class
723. bargain luxury goods
724. meticulous, dedicated doctors...
725. ...including one who has turned down three co-pays (and counting)
726. grit and resilience
727. The Temptations
728. the best pharmacy in the world! (repeat)
729. that I’m a champion healer
730. getting on with things
731. Remember that praise and thanksgiving are the most powerful prayers of all.
732. learning that Ben Katchor and Mark Mulcahy are working on a new show!
733. getting home before the parade…
734. …and spending a peaceful evening with Beverly Sills, Janet Baker, and other great souls
735. a beautiful haircut…
736. …and amazing color
737. Rescue Cream (thank you, GSI and S)
738. a three-hour-plus exercise session
739. that my regalucci made it to Florence…
740. …and pleased Emme and family
741. the return of bracing fall weather
742. kind expressions of concern
743. excellent advice from several brilliant women
744. making progress on my Travelling Woman
745. choosing action and life over immobility
746. Une femme sans parfum est une femme sans avenir.
747. that I have perfume
748. cheap and good lentil soup
749. Personne n’est jeune après quarante ans mais on peut être irrésistible à tout âge.
750. artistry, inspiration, joy (how I love that blog!)
751. Brel
752. tasty junk food (new to me)
753. tasty junk food (oldie but goodie)
754. getting the message that I need to dance!
755. believing that challenges will be overcome
756. impetus to lose the last bit of weight and make important changes
757. knowing that Berlin is waiting for me
758. hearing from FMT (who now, guarda caso, is very active in Berlin!)
759. feeling inspired and not threatened by examples of strength, achievement, and love
760. turning to exercise, protein, and rest to keep me on an even keel
761. trusting that there will be enough time
762. discovering a beautiful area of Brooklyn
763. friends who support me in my strengths and passions
764. running into a treasured young friend
765. young friends, tout court!
766. yes
767. taking a moment to say “hello,” and knowing that it was appreciated
768. pride and joy
769. oh, and that Hopey finally lifted the HIV travel ban
770. choosing FABULOUSNESS
771. being able to send the merit from my yoga practice to those in need
772. trusting in my strength and healing
773. Please be kind if I’m a mess (repeat)
774. finding Borotalco at a great price
775. taking wisdom where I find it:
     one of the best tools for longevity and good health is not just taking a walk outdoors but taking your walk while holding the hand of G-d. when we walk in gratitude for each and every moment, we empower ourselves by empowering our spirits. when we breath in nature through our eyes, ears and lips, we become certain not only that our souls are eternal, but that G-d knows how to manage our lives, our troubles, our worries and our days better than we do. so today and every day, “let go and let G-d.”

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Felix et errabunda XLIVa

1. hearing from AKS, MT, PG, VL, and other cherished friends
2. S’s staunch friendship and excellent advice
3. sparkly, sunny days
4. beautiful healing
5. VC
6. a fabulous evening with Ben Katchor and Mark Mulcahy
7. tuning up my fall antibodies
8. Dr. M
9. Dr. M
10. doing things sooner rather than later
11. deep, restorative sleep
12. my brilliant colorist
13. downsizing
14. creative, fulfilling work
15. MT, TK, WW, and other friends who help with German!
16. grit and moxie
17. kindness and support where once scarce
18. good health, life, divine mercy (repeats)

Felix et errabunda XLIV

638. superb, compassionate healers
639. S’s stalwart friendship
640. being handed a whole-milk latte upon awakening
     
641. that AKS and RHH were there with me, too
     
642. the privilege and joy of being asked to spend time with MIS
643. the many friends (MHS, MS, MT, RGP, GSI, VL, UR, WW, WB, JRD, RC, and others) who sent love and good wishes
644. the strength and cool head I didn’t know I had
645. warm blankets
646. a multicultural team
647. the many benefits of exercise (including a speedy recovery)
     
648. the M8 bus (a.k.a. the Hobo Sushi Express)
649. Downtown Yarns (the friendliest staff and most interesting selection in NYC)
650. Rayon Vert (even prettier and more complex in person)
     
651. Gianmaria Testa and Rita Marcotulli
652. Le Premier bonheur du jour
653. Everywhere
654. black, my power color
655. FABULOUS SWAG from S!
656. many miracles, including…
657. a place to stay in Berlin…
658. permission to take an extra-long vacation…
659. finding a passably affordable flight…
660. WW’s amazing kindness and disponibilità…
661. the chance to do some favors for her and the gals…
     
662. and the chance to spend time with Emme!
663. sturdier, more fountain-pen-friendly paper in Moleskines
664. never-ending compliments on my Capezio spectators
665. finding a new pair of those discontinued shoes on eBay (for a song)
     
666. Nouvelle Vague (pourquoi pas ?)
667. healing naps
668. liquorice and Indian food (thanks, S)
669. a new Ravelry friend in Berlin (thanks, U)
670. finally getting the Q-to-the-D transfer right (a few weeks too late, sigh)
671. good health, divine mercy, and life (repeat)
672. that an experience I had feared might floor me seems to be freeing me
673. a nice printing job on my holiday cards!
674. oh, and that their magick seems to be afoot already
675. the chance to hear Maestro Luisi conduct
676. that my world is expanding, and not only virtually
677. asking friends for help…
678. …and friends who answer when asked
679. squeezing in a two-hour workout before surgery (ha ha ha ha)
680. Badedas
681. minty Tylenol (which seems to fuel good dreams)
682. Chanel couture and shoes (even if only in my dreams) (FOR NOW)
     
683. Lima!
684. finding my misplaced $50 mosquito-bite cream (don’t ask)
685. a brisk and luminous Sunday
686. that my wimpy little Timex is hangin’ in there
687. a chance for positive change there
688. that people always ask if I’m a dancer
689. being a yogan
690. men in my life who are handsome, straight, single, and European (and unavailable, but still!)
     
691. the Yarn Harlot, so different from me, yet always an inspiration
692. good hair days (repeat)
     
693. a photojournalist!
694. Vistaprint
695. Wordle
696. pennies from heaven (repeat)
697. l’avoir échappée belle (?)
698. leopardskin
699. my 2010 anthem?
700. or this?
701. or this?
     
702. a chance, maybe, to learn something about Baudelaire
703. a chance, maybe, to become a WordPress ninja
704. Freude ist mag(net)isch.
705. G-d’s loving protection
     
706. waves from a lovely little girl on the subway
     

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Felix et errabunda XLIIIc

1. finally getting started for real on an important project
2. joyous anticipation of spending time with Emme
   
3. joyous anticipation of seeing W and die anderen Strickerinnen again
4. messages of love and good wishes, from U and others
   
5. Ollie’s
6. persimmons at my grocery store, too!
7. a friendly and helpful nurse
8. good health, divine mercy, and life (repeat)
9. photos of a beloved friend, her kitties, and her landscape
10. hope and optimism
11. hearing MHS’s voice
12. reaching E via Facebook
13. eight hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep
14. thirsting for change and health and joy
15. meeting one of my idols and enjoying her mesmerizing artistry
16. that Martha Wainwright’s Piaf CD will be out soon!
17. happy anticipation of another Tournées film festival
18. good hair days, roots notwithstanding
    

Felix et errabunda XLIIIb

1. booking my ticket to Berlin
2. hearing from M, V, N, W and other across-the-pond friends
3. the determination to make things happen
4. a visit from a sweet kid
   
5. running into a favorite colleague
6. messages of support from VC and MHS
   
7. progress in my knitting
8. progress in my study of German
9. getting extra rest before Friday
10. a loving and heart-healing message from GSI
11. following Orangette on Twitter, too
12. a chance to get some Wollmeise!
13. feeling that the future will be good
14. good health, divine mercy, and life (repeats)
    
15. feeling good about putting myself out there
    
16. that an admired colleague has won his freedom
17. a lovely surprise in my inbox
18. treating myself with mercy and kindness
    

Felix et errabunda XLIIIa

1. a cold, invigorating evening
2. liquorice
3. a terrific, new-to-me yoga instructor
4. Evian water*
5. an internist who is super-conscientious about sending me test results
6. an empty laundry room
7. no line at the Post Office, either!
8. quick turnaround of my holiday cards
9. friends in many lands
10. free lodging
    
11. the chance to make MS smile
12. some 4,000 free scarf patters on Ravelry (for stash-busting and gift-making)
13. finally reading the Vogue Knitting article about Véronik Avery
14. inexpensive and amazing soap
15. another superb designer
16. knowing that S will be there for me on Friday
    
17. making a care package for O
18. good health, divine mercy, life (repeats)

* Drinking bottled water is reprehensible for environmental and economic reasons, but I love Evian—honestly, I prefer it to chocolate.

Pensée du lundi 19 octobre

Postcards from Berlin, in Berlin.

Felix et errabunda XLIII

570. S and other true, there-for-me friends
571. loving messages from Firenze, Montalcino, and Den Haag
572. superb and caring doctors
573. looking after myself
574. being at peace with myself
575. knowing that I am enough, I have enough, and I do enough (repeat)
576. that I heal terrifically well
     
577. the glorious cold weather
578. sending off Halloween cards to much-loved young friends
579. a Berlin miracle that is taking shape!
580. a bigger Berlin miracle to which I am committed
581. Springsteen in the morning
582. excellent south Indian food
583. a new café with free wifi and Motown!
584. happy anticipation of seeing Ben Katchor and Mark Mulcahy
585. food, shelter, clothing, and other things sometimes taken for granted
586. throwing my hat into the ring (repeat)
587. getting myself to Knitty City
588. writing to an idol
589. composing, designing, and ordering my holiday cards
590. the healing power of creativity
591. the healing power of sweat and motion
592. good hair days (repeat)
593. great skin days
594. aligning myself with learning and growth
595. New York State apples
596. asking for what I need
597. friends who support my greatest joy
598. friends (GSI, ad esempio) who ask me what I want and need
599. so many staunch and loving friends!
600. a long, voluptuous nap
601. inching ever closer to Michelle Obama arms
602. free guacamole
603. loving myself no matter what
604. wisdom from Emmet Fox: “An understanding joy in living is the highest prayer of all.”
605. facing with courage and gratitude something that once would have undone me
606. that Sancta Rufola is at work on a new album!
607. Amy
608. Serge
     
609. being told that I look great by someone whose opinion matters
610. greater discernment about people and things
611. EUR 3.99 flights from Berlin to Stockholm
612. putting things in the mail (repeat)
613. healing from perfectionism
614. a terrific tweet about television: “Turn the f*cking thing off! EXPERIENCE THINGS!”
615. overcoming avoidance
616. a happy dream about creating
617. my health insurance, imperfect though it may be
618. wisdom from Gandhi: “A ‘no’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘yes’ uttered merely to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.”
619. wisdom from EZ: “Despise feints and blather.”
620. another amazing post from an inspiring “militant pedestrian”
     
621. wisdom from Simone Weil: “Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”
622. good digestion
623. coffee with whole milk, thank you very much…
624. …and the rock-bottom cholesterol levels that allow for such indulgences!
625. stamps, envelopes, postcards, and other instruments of love
     
626. a fresh-from-the-oven cookie
627. ideas for articles about Berlin
628. countries where broadband (oh, yeah, and healthcare) is a right
     
629. study new walking shoes
630. putting together pretty outfits
631. long, dark nights
632. my snuggly comforter
633. seeing things from new perspectives
     
634. a wonderful and much-underrated soprano
     
635. good health (repeat)
636. divine mercy (repeat)
637. life (repeat)

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Let there be light

Bottles of lemonade in a store near my house, photographed a few days ago.

I wish everyone a tender and luminous weekend! *smooch*

Felix et errabunda XLIIa

1. a cool, invigorating day
2. an excellent manicure
3. friends who care
4. kind and helpful professionals
5. Isager Wool 1 in charcoal grey
   
6. free guacamole
7. healing
8. a good hair day
9. good skin pretty much every day
   
10. being welcome in Berlin
11. W’s monumental Wollmeise haul!
12. making clients happy
13. doing creative work
14. composing, creating, and ordering my holiday cards
15. Emily Dickinson
16. a new album in the works from Sancta Rufola
    
17. life (repeat)
18. divine mercy (repeat)
    

Pensée du lundi 12 octobre

One of my yoga teachers yesterday spoke about cultivating santosha: “the root of joy,” “all about being content with one’s actions and with what one has, what one is, where one is.”

It is a feeling that has been welling up in me these last months, even in the face of challenges. I experienced santosha to an intense degree when visiting the Regional Assembly of Text in Vancouver with a friend. Run by two amazing young women, this lovely little emporium sells stationery and paper goods, with cozy do-it-yourself areas stocked with rubber stamps, ink pads, manual typewriters (!), and the like.

The shop hosts a monthly letter writing club, surely the most splendid idea I’ve encountered in ages. Imagine: A salon with tea and biscuits, where one can commune with faraway friends and enjoy companionship and love with local comrades. Honestly, what could be better?

Speaking of santosha, look at what came up in my Emmet Fox anthology today:

Don’t pray or meditate as a duty. Realize that prayer is a visit with G-d and should be joyous.

Neither must you pursue your secular activities as necessary duties to be gotten over, that you may return to your prayer. In the light of Truth, there are no secular activities.

You must have regular recreation or you will become stale. Recreation, also, is to be enjoyed—as an expression of G-d—and not as a task to prepare yourself to pray better. An understanding joy in living is the highest prayer of all.

SANTOSHA!

Felix et errabunda XLII

503. spending time with PG
504. spending time with S
     
505. so many happy and relaxing hours at The Bean (now closed, alas)
506. yet another sign to get my f*cking act together and move to Europe already!
     
507. a sparkling fall day
508. visiting Downtown Yarns during the Yarn Crawl (which got me a discount, and they were amazingly kind and friendly, as always)
509. giving myself this as a gift…
510. …but waiting on the Rowan Lima (which looks DIVINE)
     
511. text messages from Bath, Montalcino, Firenze, and Paris
512. pear season
     
513. seeing TK again at yoga class!
514. santosha
515. a troubled relationship that seems to be healing
516. an inspiring and empowering Dreamweaver class
517. window shopping in Soho
     
518. Hampton Chutney!
519. healthy aches and pains (repeat)
520. doctors who e-mail (repeat)
521. a small but significant burst of progress
522. letting go of what no longer serves me
523. unpacking (after years) pretty dishes for me and my guests
524. a daunting task that really wasn’t
     
525. throwing my hat into the ring
526. my husband Barack’s Nobel Peace Prize (Hopey Hussein is da bomb!)
527. the best coffee I’ve had in NYC, plus free wifi (thanks, S)
     
528. that RHH, radiant and angelic, visited in a dream, to accompany me on a journey
     
529. wearing RHH’s ring and feeling her love every day (thank you, T)
530. that a nice gentleman took home the darling stray kitty who tried to follow me into my office
531. that I’m going to find out WHY my bleeping allergist (whom I adore) won’t give me immunotherapy for cat allergies
532. the song I used to play when brushing Khadra
     
533. that I see one of the best surgeons in New York this week
534. a blissful hour spent eating hobo sushi and writing cards to much-loved friends
535. better pray for your sins!
536. something good and beautiful from the New York Times (my grandparents often quoted that last saying)
537. finally receiving the second batch of Tamiflu
538. getting my seasonal flu shot before my internist ran out
539. the greatest rock vocal ever
540. erasing straggler messages from a person who treated me shabbily
541. also, that said person apparently has not harmed herself, as threatened
542. aligning myself with forgiveness and gratitude
     
543. cool, good-for-sleeping nights
544. so true!
545. wanting to read again
546. getting markedly more attention from dudes
547. a doctor two doctors who turned down a co-pay
548. that these lists cheer B
549. Vitamin D and tocotrienols
550. beauty and inspiration
551. ditto
552. orthotics
553. finally getting meglio soli che male accompagnati
554. the Indian moment happening in my life
555. the nice people at my gym
556. insisting on decent ginger tea, so there!
     
557. Let no one anywhere despise another,
     Let no one out of anger or resentment
     Wish suffering on anyone at all.
     Just as a mother with her own life
     Protects her child, her only child, from harm,
     So within yourself let grow
     A boundless love for all creatures.
     
558. rigorous, inspiring, loving teachers
559. this message received in December 2007
560. something (one of many things) to aspire to
561. happy anticipation of Thanksgiving!
562. how ditching television has made me happier, healthier, and smarter
563. slowly embracing sanity
564. ever-increasing serenity
565. a professional who is the best, and so human and kind
566. ZocDoc
567. good health (repeat)
568. divine mercy (repeat)
569. life (repeat)

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Felix et errabunda XLI

438. hearing from MT
439. an opportunity to learn Dreamweaver
440. doctors who are healers
441. friends and professionals who support my strength
442. a colleague committed to excellence
443. divine mercy (repeat)
444. fighting off a cold
445. free and surprisingly good instant coffee
446. squeezing in the nap I’d needed since mid-September
447. getting serious about forgiveness
448. improving sleep, sans Vitamins A and K
449. compliments on my skin from my über-fastidious dermatologist
450. making three lovely people happy with cards
451. sailing through a difficult sequence of asanas
452. my peerless pharmacy
453. getting some paperwork done
454. Sheer Iced Mocha and…
455. …in general, the ease and happiness that come with finding things that work and sticking with them
456. Mr. X’s grace and radiant smile
457. the sudden abundance of exceedingly attractive heterosexual men in my life, which can portend only good (semi-repeat)
458. still more progress in strength training and Pilates
459. love from a rapturous Chihuahua and other fetching quadripeds
460. swift and complete healing of various incisions
461. delectable and inexpensive fall apples
462. knowing that it’s okay to change my mind
463. Emmet Fox (repeat)
464. the confidence that comes from being nicely turned out
465. when people say, “Oh, you’re a dancer” (!)
466. receiving my business cards
467. taking myself to the movies (the film is slight but wonderful)
468. good old eggs and potatoes
469. having Tamiflu, a seasonal flu shot, a pneumonia vaccine, doctors who e-mail, and (soon!) an H1N1 jab
     
470. incredible progress in overcoming my longstanding fear of doctors
471. the kind gentleman at the gym who thanked me for always wiping down my machines
472. S and other friends who support my dreams
473. that purposeful activity, however modest, always heals and energizes me
474. U, K, and other Ravelry friends
475. a new release from a favorite musician
476. a swelling chorus of acclaim for Mark Mulcahy (may G-d watch over him and his girls)
477. a beautiful gift from an ex
478. happy anticipation of seeing P (tocchiamo ferro!)
479. regularly doing at once something that used to paralyze me
480. interesting curry recipes for winter lunches
481. daily belly laughs
     
482. prayers for B and her sister
483. Do or do not. There is no try.
484. BOGOF vitamins, woo!
485. a blog that never fails to delight and inspire me (repeat)
486. Clif Builder’s bars at bargain prices
487. rising above smallness (repeat)
488. a sexy photo, and I took it!
489. how taking an interest in others (i.e. letting go of self-pity) leads to real joy
490. the happy outcome of saying “no” to oppressive, unwelcome ideas
491. establishing limits…
492. …and removing people, even admirable ones, from pedestals
493. the feeling that a door is opening
494. hearing the words love yourself first pierce the commotion in a café
495. the pull of Europe
496. being brave and proactive
497. that revisiting old vices (large servings of sugary foods) made me feel wretched
498. the clarity and strength that come from not blaming others, and from recognizing my complicity in abuse
     
499. contemplating sexier lingerie
500. getting closer to finding the perfect tweed blazer
501. so many patient, kind, and loving friends
502. life (repeat)

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Apples

It will beggar a doctor to live where orchards thrive.
Spanish proverb
Apples from the Public Market on Granville Island, Vancouver.

Felix et errabunda XL

375. GOOD HEALTH (repeat)
     
376. one of the most gorgeous songs ever (stick around for the stunning ghost track, too)
     
377. an empowering dream
378. a message of love and solidarity from Sweden
379. wrapping up a project at the office
     
380. Two Boots
381. a sale on Sabra!
382. happy anticipation of celebrating L’s birthday
383. S’s staunch friendship and offer of help
384. hugs from MHS, who is there for me, always
385. reconnecting with Italian friends
386. standing up to someone who has been behaving like a jerk…
387. …and rising above his smallness
388. a truly meaningful project at the office (repeat)
389. grateful clients
390. cutting myself some slack…
391. …and finding that it was the right decision for other reasons, too
392. that a favorite yoga teacher is back and better than ever
     
393. sharp young doctors who e-mail
394. an unexpected “I love you”
395. not settling
     
396. that a blog is, once again, just a blog
397. that both Véronik and Dr. Kate will be stateside soon
398. being more adventurous in my attire
399. still more swanky new equipment at my gym…
400. …and my improving performance on said equipment
401. smiles from adorable babies
402. warm and sincere good wishes for 5770
403. Tutto è già qui…
404. making progress on an Aeolian variant
405. honey cake for me, too
     
406. that someone thinks I am tidy
407. taking the time to research prospective doctors
408. rising above catastrophic thinking
409. beautiful and affordable stationery
410. allowing myself to learn from a flawed person (i.e. take what you like and leave the rest)
411. contemplating recovery, sul serio
412. being able to do research from home
413. getting back to my routine
414. the healing and transforming power of this list
415. an iPod Touch?
416. Non piangere, coglione, ridi e vai…
417. healthy aches and pains (repeat)
     
418. living outside of my comfort zone (repeat)
419. recognizing that my “comfort zone” is f*cked
420. knowing that the world has changed because I have changed
     
421. sexy dreams
     
422. refusing to be ripped off
     
423. baby steps
     
424. more and more resourcefulness
     
425. seeing that rest and relaxation (in contrast to driving myself relentlessly) increases my strength
     
426. saving one Denman Island chocolate bar for myself
     
427. crisp and tingly fall days
     
428. my daily companion
     
429. a healer of body and soul
430. handling things well
431. creative arenas
432. that Burritoville (tofu sour cream, brown rice, whole wheat tortillas, yay!) is reopening in my ‘hood
433. breathing and letting go and letting be
434. tricking myself into completing a hard workout when I wanted to quit
435. making good use of my time
     
436. divine mercy (repeat)
     
437. repeat (repeat)
     

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Jai guru deva om

I received the best, most precious gift for Rosh Hashanah.

And you? I wish you and yours all blessings of good health, love, serenity, abundance, and success in 5770. May you have an easy fast.

See you next week! जय गुरुदेव ॐ

Felix et errabunda XXXIX

248. GOOD HEALTH
249. being treated with the utmost kindness and sensitivity
     
250. people who are on my side and there for me
     
251. knowing that I don’t need to be perfect, only better
     
252. happy anticipation of seeing MM and BK
     
253. a joyous and inspiring Rosh Hashanah…
254. …with an amazing Moroccan feast!
255. being in demand (repeat)
256. putting things in the mail
257. sleeping like a baby (repeat)
258. compliments on my character and style
259. receiving thanks
260. making just what I want
261. Bermuda Teal
262. Tiziano Red
263. that my French still rocks (repeat)
264. a nice lady who wants to marry me off to a Frog!
265. not rushing, and arriving with plenty of time to spare
266. hearing that our holy days are a time for being who we really are and fulfilling our highest potential—and not for self-hatred
     
267. healing (repeat)
268. loving myself…
269. …and being a better advocate for myself
270. the Regional Assembly of Text
271. treats in my Ravelry message box
272. luminous, almost-fall days
273. pomegranates
274. old and new necklaces from African vendors
275. strength (repeat)
276. a faith that teaches that I am precious (not sinful)
277. Andrew at Sam Flax
278. knitting to the Beatles
279. MM’s music
280. Love
281. an old faithful (repeat, and most apt)
282. keeping busy
283. staying in the moment
284. realizing that my 5768 prayers were answered
285. the best, most loving friends in the world
286. appreciation for my work
287. rocking the blue-and-brown thing
288. friends’ prayers
289. making people smile with honey cake…
290. …and tidbits from YVR
291. eggs at a BC dive with S
     
292. another safe and comfortable Cathay Pacific flight
293. still getting a few press CDs
294. hearing from GF, and reading of his great success
295. so many stylish and inspiring women
296. running into a 3BF pal at Chapters…
297. …who told me about the Oleana show
298. picking up where I left off at the gym
299. a blissful Saturday afternoon
300. making a very handsome man smile
301. feeling bien dans ma peau (repeat)
302. a chance to get physical therapy for my shoulder
303. perspective
304. apples and challah dipped in honey
305. an easy trip to a new-to-me neighborhood
306. that many jealousies and envies are healing
307. pluck
308. graciousness
309. overcoming shyness
310. pearly white and deep cobalt
311. the peace that comes from doing the right thing (repeat)
312. happy anticipation of seeing a wonderful healer
313. healthy organs
314. amazing graffiti and ephemera
315. taking new and once-intimidating actions
316. realizing that it’s okay to be “late” (i.e. that there will be room for me)
317. a song that I will forever associate with President Obama’s election
318. beginning to grasp the less-is-more thing
319. fitting in with the hipsters
320. Rabbi Yaakov and Rebbetzin Yosefa
321. free, delicious popcorn
322. knowing that being imperfect is just fine
323. endorphins and serotonin
324. sixties-revival music
325. feeling rich and lucky
326. Something better beginning
327. a rare (but refreshing) nap
328. overcoming my terror-based upbringing
329. a signed Ben Katchor print!
330. my growing capacity to feel pleasure
331. learning that past mistakes arose largely from settling for abuse
332. models of happy, supportive partnerships
333. inspiring photographs
334. knowing my tribes
335. practicing forgiveness, however imperfectly
336. believing that I can get my act together
337. industrial-strength laundry facilities
338. Time
339. increasing flexibility in all areas of my life
340. a haughty black cat
341. so many beautiful and deeply loved children
342. indecency
343. SHIFT FREEDOM
344. steel, brick, and concrete (an urban poem)
345. father Leonard
346. contemplating country life
347. waking up
348. at least one sexy straight guy who is available
349. a heart split open like a fig
350. a completely safe and accepting place
351. “So the woman went her way, and did eat, and her countenance was no more sad.”
352. my home in Greenwich Village
353. opening this week!
354. not taking on other people’s stuff
355. the ease that comes with insisting on precisely what I want
356. good dreams
357. not giving in to fear and immobility
358. Sancta Rufola
359. standing my ground
360. President Carter
361. being taken for French, based on my looks!
362. making connections
363. very good Greek food at YVR
364. a whirl of glitz and giddiness
365. Calms Forté (thanks, RHH)
366. amazing Canadian yoghurt
367. keeping B, W, MM, and FT in my prayers
368. so much gallantry!
369. finding lost treasures
370. aha!
371. healthy hunger
372. swanky new ME togs to trot out
373. divine mercy (repeat)
374. life (repeat)
     

» Il bacio sulla bocca

L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem

May you and I and all of humanity be inscribed and sealed for a good and sweet year—a year of health, love, abundance, success, and all that is blessèd and holy.

L’shanah tovah!

Felix et errabunda XXXVIIIc

1. hugs
2. still more pennies from heaven
3. still more compliments on my shoes
4. loving friends
5. hope and optimism
6. mercy, both human and divine
7. sharing sweetness, and the happiness it generates
8. opportunities to be creative and productive
9. Thy will be done
10. am Yisrael
11. opening up to greater compassion and generosity
12. Florence Scovel Shinn, Emmet Fox, and other great teachers
13. time for reflection
14. “you’re so good”
15. healing
16. good dreams
17. a lovely young mom in fireball-orange pants and her three beautiful children, laughing and running down the street
18. life

Felix et errabunda XXXVIIIb

1. kindness at every turn
2. getting a flu shot
3. speaking my mind and insisting on respectful treatment
4. getting stuff done
5. making a very handsome fellow smile
6. expressing gratitude, and so many things that demand gratitude
7. being busy
8. excellent eggs and potatoes
9. menschlich colleagues
10. plans for the Chagim
11. never-ending compliments on my shoes!
12. that thinking about Turks & Caicos really works
13. ice water
14. happier updates from out of town
15. spreading sweetness
16. happy anticipation of seeing longtime allies
17. divine mercy
18. life

Felix et errabunda XXXVIIIa

1. a safe and easy trip home
   
2. deep, restorative sleep
   
3. excellent care
   
4. loving friends
   
5. options
   
6. places where I am always welcome
   
7. my home
   
8. my wonderful neighborhood
   
9. “problems” that vanish
10. physical activity and the ability to do it
    
11. strength
    
12. knitting
    
13. hanging in there and trusting that things will work out
    
14. words of encouragement
    
15. speaking my truth and being heard with love, understanding, and acceptance
    
16. pennies (and quarters) from heaven
    
17. divine mercy
    
18. life
    

Pensée du lundi 14 septembre

The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realization that we are the instruments and expression of G-d Himself [sic].
Emmet Fox

Felix et errabunda XXXVIII

122. a safe and easy trip to YVR
123. the opportunity and means to take a vacation
124. systematic and calm packing, for a change
125. spending time with S and L
126. L’s triumphant premiere!
127. our posh accommodations
128. terrific coffee and free wifi
     
129. even better coffee
     
130. meeting so many inspiring women and artisans at the local knitting groups…
131. …thanks to Ravelry
132. super-kind receptions at all the local yarn shops I visited
133. the Vermeer and Rembrandt show…
134. …with Dutch licorice at the gift shop
135. sleeping like a baby
136. yummy, healthy food (here, for example)
137. having more than enough food to eat, when so many do without
138. the kind fellow with the iPhone
139. scoring a ticket to the MM benefit show
140. getting my bearings so easily
141. Cathay Pacific’s excellent service
142. simple and efficient transportation
143. late-night swims in a saltwater pool
144. gym facilities on the road
     
145. reacquainting myself with my iPod
146. the ready availability of ATMs, post offices, and letter boxes (in contrast to, say, Montréal)
147. sending postcards to people who appreciate them
148. that the presents pleased AKS and J
149. many instances of serendipity
150. the Aquabus
151. the Public Market (pictures to follow)
152. that the Jens shawl gives me major knitterly street cred
     
153. friendly, helpful people at every turn
154. learning to stay away from painful places
155. kind and unpretentious buddies
156. rediscovering classic songs
157. confidence
158. juiciness…
159. …including the kind in BC produce
     
160. feeling at peace
161. asking for help…
162. …and help offered spontaneously, including rides home and routes mapped out for me
163. purchasing Photosynthesis…
164. …and meeting the swell gal who designed it!
165. having options
166. letting go
167. embracing self-care
168. healing
169. efficiency
170. trying new things
171. order and space
172. keeping it simple
173. good habits picked up from AKS and others
174. the opportunity to be there for friends
175. temptations that no longer tempt
176. an evening of lively conversation, good coffee, and the Beatles!
177. easy cooperation
178. no longer fearing giving things a whirl
179. things once difficult that are now easy (repeat)
180. no longer feeling the need to apologize for myself
181. how photography calms and energizes me
182. Tony
183. Judy
184. Gianmaria
     
185. that my cheap swimming goggles turned out to be fantastic
186. knowing that I owe no loyalty to crazy and neglectful people
187. witnessing Derek Jeter’s magnificent career (repeat)
188. a song for Derek
     
189. hearing from a long-lost friend…
190. …who had the happiest of news!
191. hearing from another friend I had almost written off
192. gleaming days without a cloud in the sky
193. compliments on my shoes
194. Indian food, by land and by air
195. a frosty-cold drink when I was utterly parched
196. generosity (repeat)
197. faraway fans
198. being able to write on my matte Moo cards
199. compliments on said Moo cards (which show my photos)
200. happy anticipation of seeing WB and GJ
201. words of wisdom from WB (comme d’hab)
202. trusting, and finding just what I need (repeat)
203. the pleasure of keeping my word
204. cooking a midnight dinner for friends
205. fishnet stockings
206. finding hometown favorites on the road
207. physical activity and the ability to do it (repeat)
208. inspiration when and where I least expect it
209. that the world, right now, is safe and friendly, in contrast to what my family taught me
210. that GF made a successful Los Angeles début
211. a lovely message from Budapest
212. lazy mornings
213. watching dawn over Vancouver from my bed
214. still more concrete evidence that being away from my job improves my well-being
215. crisp green apples
216. compliments from Doris Anderson!
217. gorgeous new yarns
218. the smell of the sea
219. sharing good things with friends
220. learning what it is to feel well
221. my yellow (Tibetan?) scarf
222. rejecting unhelpful words and ideas
223. the first chill of autumn
224. rocking the Gap “boyfriend” jeans
225. knowing that movement and action always chase away the demons
226. freedom
227. light slithering and shimmying across the water
228. sticktoitness (repeat)
229. visiting a country with a sense of collective responsibility
230. insisting on competent, dedicated, supportive team members
231. feeling the burn
232. friends who support me in my strengths and aspirations (repeat)
233. feeling ripe for pleasure
234. jasmine, in its many forms
235. children and their unbridled, visceral joy
236. fountains, sometimes when and where I least expect them (JFK, par exemple)
     
237. sacred feminine energy (thank you, AKS)
238. opportunities to live simply, joyously, and well
239. pennies from heaven
240. finding sweet presents for wonderful friends
241. 11:11
     
242. teal
243. words of wisdom from AP and AP
     
244. living outside of my comfort zone (repeat)
245. who I am
246. divine mercy (repeat)
247. life (repeat)

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Pensée du lundi 7 septembre

From Händel’s Semele, recorded in 2007: Cecilia Bartoli sings (in ravishing, crystalline English) “Oh sleep, why dost thou leave me?”

Bartoli’s new CD isn’t even out, and already the hating and ridicule have begun. Like Maria Callas, Bartoli is a woman whose power, smarts, and independence unnerve.

I have had the pleasure of interviewing her multiple times (latest interview here): She is by far the most intelligent and articulate artist I have encountered. We all are blessed to be her contemporaries.

Felix et errabunda XXXVII

Nota bene: I tweaked the numbering because the blog template could not handle thousands, at least not in browsers that I use.

60. very good news from three doctors (thank you, G-d)
    
61. running a mile for the first time since I was in my twenties
    
62. swanky new strength-training equipment at my gym
    
63. happy anticipation of hanging with S and L in YVR
    
64. finishing one lace project
65. working my way through issues in another one
66. just-what-I-needed bargains at Old Navy
67. a miracle product
68. renewed downward motion on the scale (thank you, G-d)
69. AKS, MHS, S, GSI, and other friends who are there for me
70. the picture at The Bean of President Obama that always makes me smile
71. that my modest presents pleased U
72. gorgeous days
73. some peace of mind and a plan
74. exceptionally kind and gentle professionals
75. a surprise class with Padma!
76. making something at the office in memory of 9/11
77. looking up and seeing the towers of light embracing me
78. a milestone in a big project at the office
79. “it’s all good; no follow-up required”
80. spending time with three exceptionally attractive men (even if they’re off limits, sigh)
81. that my Pilates class was on despite the holiday
82. my city, less crowded and more peaceful for a weekend
83. getting my passport on time, as promised
84. moving forward and not allowing myself to be consumed by fear
85. a talk about False Expectations Appearing Real
86. being told that I am strong and healthy
87. a new Rufus CD!
88. the chance to swim
89. sirshana (repeat)
90. Love Train!
91. being able to send merit from my yoga practice to B and her sister, FT, and MM
92. one excellent song amidst all the seventies swill at my café
93. my amazing colorist
94. hearing from EM
95. dealing with things (repeat)
96. Emmet Fox (a longstanding gift from AKS, thank you)
97. a shiny-as-a-new-penny Sunday morning
98. courage and grace
99. sleeping like a baby
100. happy anticipation of lunch with MHS and the girls
101. cheaper-than-expected swim goggles
102. that my middle-aged memory still works
103. knitting with Sinatra
104. passing along hand-me-downs to friends
105. free coffee
106. the chance to discover a fabulous new city
107. that gratitude really is magic
108. no knee pain (knock wood)
109. saying no to unacceptable words
110. my wonderful shoemaker
111. Eli at Jeniette
112. father Leonard
113. that I am ready (listen up, G-d!) (repeat)
     
114. balsam for the heart
     
115. cool nights
116. the healing power of generosity
117. that good raspberries are still available
     
118. how exercise keeps me sane and hopeful
119. fabulous free knitting patterns
120. divine mercy (repeat)
121. life (repeat)

» Il bacio sulla bocca

Felix et errabunda XXXVI

999. another relaxing and wonderful weekend
     
1000. fitting into size 4 Gap jeans for the first time ever…
1001. …which makes a tiny bit more bearable the fact that “ma’am” is now a permanent fixture
      
1002. finishing a beautiful lace project
      
1003. Facebook friends who cheer me on
1004. cheap and good services in my ‘hood (repeat)
      
1005. hearing from ROL, and knowing that he is well
      
1006. getting ready for fabulous new experiences
      
1007. purchasing precisely what I want
      
1008. dinner with S at Dojo…
      
1009. …and knowing that she and L have had a safe and enjoyable trip
      
1010. the perfect song for Senator Kennedy Z”L…
1011. … and the perfect sendoff for him
      
1012. a few more cheap summer raspberries
      
1013. Chobani!
      
1014. finally getting something scary over with
      
1015. being told that I write good Facebook updates
      
1016. that certain types of junk food really do seem to be history
      
1017. things once hard that now are easy (repeat)
      
1018. being told, “Ask for forgiveness, not permission”
      
1019. prevailing in my running program
      
1020. once again hauling my arse to the gym instead of wallowing in self-pity
      
1021. Dr. Jill Biden and other inspiring women
      
1022. seeing that perseverance can bring results
      
1023. still more incremental progress at work
      
1024. the generous and amazing Ravelry community
      
1025. only a few more weeks until it opens!
      
1026. that AKS sounds happier and more relaxed
      
1027. that GSI remains one of the most beautiful women on earth
      
1028. leaving well enough alone
      
1029. things that work as advertised
      
1030. finding just what I need
      
1031. one thing off my plate at work
1032. photography
1033. kind and cheerful colleagues
1034. speaking up
1035. taking care of myself (repeat)
1036. learning that dealing with things brings peace and calm
1037. letting go and letting G-d
1038. surprising myself in yoga class
1039. “Yes, Marion, she’s the friendly one”
1040. knowing that there are always options
1041. saying f*ck you to fear and immobility
1042. creating something useful and worthwhile at the office
1043. good news from good people
1044. wisdom from them, too: Do not hurry. Do not rest.
1045. that my current place of employment, for all its limitations, is vastly better than the previous one
1046. a cool, good-for-sleeping night
1047. fitting into old clothes that were once too small
1048. not fitting into old clothes, because they’re now too big
1049. all the wonderful September birthday babies
1050. a perfect tote bag
1051. giving myself permission to like what I like
1052. feeling content and at peace (not always, but sometimes)
1053. so much beauty all around me
1054. doing something I resist right away
1055. learning about something important from P
1056. being taken seriously
1057. decompressing
1058. when a busy day stacks up just right
1059. one more for the late Senator
      

» Il bacio sulla bocca